The Doctor Plays Playstation
by RustyWarhead
Summary: The Doctor plays a PS4, and doesn't have the best experience. M for language.
The Doctor was in the TARDIS, a living machine that could travel through space and time itself. The TARDIS was bigger in the inside than it was on the outside, which amazed all of the people who stepped foot inside. It had very complicated controls on its panel, and an endless amount of space throughout itself. The TARDIS was alive, and great. When The Doctor had his TARDIS, he could go anywhere he wanted, any time he desired, and still be home in time for tea.

And he sat there, playing on a gaming console, microphone and headphones connected.

"Oh! That gun looks quite dangerous! I hope no one had to feel whatever pain that gun might bring!" The Doctor said, playing "Call of Duty: Black Ops 3." He had used his skills to hack into the game, and get whatever he didn't already have. He didn't use much of it for whatever reason.

"Time to join a game. I hope everyone is nice! Nice people are great!" He said aloud, his voice somehow not echoing through the large console room he sat in. Even though he was merely sitting and playing a game, he still wore his bowtie, his tweed jacket, suspenders, and his wonderful black leather boots. He had a stetson resting right next to the PS4 he had bought from a store in Yuma, AZ.

"Nuketown? That sounds dangerous. I like dangerous." He said, pressing a button to confirm the map he wanted to play online on. He waited patiently for the game to connect him to a Nuketown server, with a big, goofy smile on his face. As he waited, he had a million thoughts running through his 27 brains. What if someone was in danger? Perhaps the Master had set up a bomb, and was ready to explode Syria. Or maybe, Gallifrey was currently invading Earth's atmosphere! But, he doubted all of that as soon as his game loaded, and he was plopped into a server.

He moved his joystick forward, which made his character go forward as well. He pressed R2 on his controller, and his gun fired. After testing to make sure that every function that was useable by him was in working order, he started looking around. Surprisingly, no one had found him yet, furthermore killed him.

"The graphics are quite impressive for an Earth game! I've seen better on Kordon, though." The Doctor said to himself. His eyes were looking in all directions of the screen, just in case someone tried to bypass his peripheral vision. The sound of guns firing and mines exploding filled the game, but he ignored it since he knew that it was just a silly game.

Suddenly, The Doctor saw an enemy soldier in a room on the top floor of a house. He shot the enemy, and left the area quickly. As soon as he had reached the backyard of that virtual house, he heard a voice. The game's HUD let him know that it was the same player he had just killed. That player's name was XxSwagmanxX.

"Wow, cheap shot, DoctorDoesGaming." Swagman said.

The Doctor's eyes widened when he heard the player's voice. That player couldn't've been a year over 9. The Doctor was more than sure that the game he was playing was rated M, a rating that restricts 9 year olds from playing.

"Oy! You seem rather young to be playing such a violent game." The Doctor said into his microphone. He was hoping that the child had heard him. After a few moments, the child responded.

"Who cares, faggot?" The child said. The Doctor gasped, shocked beyond belief. The child he had just shot in a game had called him a name that should not be said by anyone. Where were this child's parents, and why had the child not been disciplined yet for using such foul language?

"Excuse me? You are too young to be using that language, Mister!" The Doctor scolded the child.

"I'll say what I want to say, fucker."

The Doctor dropped his controller. Was this child being allowed to use this foul language? This was unacceptable under any circumstances. The Doctor didn't even let his companions curse! That meant Amy and Rory, his current companions as well! Not even the Daleks cursed!

"Get off this game right now. You're too young to be playing it, and obviously not responsible enough! I won't tolerate you being on here right now!" The Doctor shouted. If only Amy and Rory were here to see such atrocity.

"You're like a forty-five year old playing it. Get a life, fuckin' faggot. I fucked your mom."

The Doctor instantly pulled out his sonic screwdriver, scanned the PS4, and got as much information as he could about Swagman. After saving all of it in the screwdriver, he transferred the information to the TARDIS's console, and took off.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The Doctor landed his TARDIS in front of a house, which was coincidentally right next to Amy and Rory's house. He knocked on the door of the house, and awaited an answer. When the door opened, he saw a woman in a red dress and makeup at the entrance.

"Hello, ma'am! I am from the ESRB, and I have been informed that your daught-... son has been using much profanity and playing games that he should be restricted from. I have been sent here to confiscate an "XxSwagmanxX's" Playstation 4 from him. May I come in? You look lovely, by the way!" The Doctor said, in one big breath. He looked to his right, and saw Amy and Rory stepping out of their house, most likely to investigate the sound of the TARDIS materializing. He waved, and they instantly put stunned looks on their faces.

"Has he, now?" The woman at the door answered the Doctor. "Yes, please come in, then."

The Doctor stepped in, and took a look around. It was a nice house. However, it was tainted by an unfriendly individual. The Doctor stepped upstairs, where he assumed the boy was, he heard the clacking and clicking of a PS4 controller. He opened the door that the noise was coming from, and he saw a rather chubby boy. He stepped into the room, and began to unplug the console, and take the wiring with him.

"What the hell?" The boy exclaimed.

"Hi! I'm The Doctor. I'm from the ESRB, and I've been instructed to take your PS4 console

due to your excessive use of profanity along with your prohibited underage gaming. I'll have to take that, too." The Doctor said, snatching the controller from the boy's hands. "Thank you for your cooperation, but no thank you for your bad behavior." The Doctor said quickly, before he stepped out of the room.

He thanked the woman once more, and left the house. As he stepped to the TARDIS and opened it, he heard the boy being scolded. The Doctor smiled, and set down the console on the TARDIS console.

Amy and Rory stepped into the TARDIS, and boy did they look surprised.

"Doctor?" Amy began. "Why were you at our neighbor's house? And why did you take their games?" She asked. Rory stood next to her, seeming rather unphased about the event.

"I was playing online, and I heard their kid cursing. Specifically at me, too." The Doctor summarized the event.

"So you took their Playstation?" Amy asked, her eyes beginning to furrow.

"Yes! That's exactly what I did!" The Doctor said triumphantly.

"Doctor… you do realize that kids curse on games every day? I mean… quite a lot of them." Amy clarified for the Doctor.

The Doctor stayed silent, and let his jaw hang.

"I need to do something…" The Doctor said. "And I must do it alone."

"What exactly do you have to do alone?" Amy asked.

"Uh… I'm going to Skaro so I can save my granddaughter from Davros." He said, shooing Many and Rory out of the TARDIS. Rory obliged, but Amy knew that the Doctor was lying. She knew his lying face very well. However, she eventually gave in and left the TARDIS.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

"Breaking news, there has been a global shortage of gaming consoles, and a global rise in bowties. People all over Earth are perplexed about the situation, but more perplexed about seeing a man with the same description. Right now, people have-"

Amy immediately knew what had happened, and facepalmed. "For heaven's' sake, Doctor…" She mumbled.


End file.
